mirror

She stares at me,
with eyes that reveal a void
with eyes that speak of pain
the pain of confinement
of being held captive.
A chosen captivity.

Yet that familiarity that holds her
provides a sense of security-
of comfort
though false, very dear to her
should those barriers fall,
should their hinges come loose,
the waves
of freedom,
of vunerability
may sweep
too hard
too fast
too soon
may overwhelm...
and drown her soul.

Yes, she looks at me
and speaks in words I understand
Pressed up against the glass
She looks out
longingly,
with envy,
at the world outside her four familiar walls.

one day she will
break free,
I know it.

With courage
break free.

Then the girl in my mirror
will be no more...

A big word

Today I learnt a big word that I not only understand but will use quite frequently I believe- at least in this lifetime. Sure I've learnt bigger words in the past such as 'supercallifragillisticexpialidocious' (wth i don;t even know how to spell it!), but I don;t see any relevance or any use of this word whatsoever in my daily life so that defeats the whole point of knowing the word. I cant go around saying..."Hi today is so supercalli...etc." cos i'll just risk sounding like a flaming idiot. aah...u get my drift.
Today's word however...is somewhat useful..and it's so amazingly long..it took me a while to digest it and then pronounce it. I like it!

p-s-e-u-d-o-h-y-p-o-p-i-t-u-i-t-a-r-i-s-m

Ah there we go! What a useful addition to my somewhat limited vocabulary!

To imagine i used to think pterygopalatine and dysdidokokinesia was long. This word is 10 syllables and 21 letters long. What a beauty!

tears

I cried today
not because I wanted to
because
I HAD to.

Tears
washes the pain
washes the frustrations
washes the insecurities

temporary relief for the soul.

dreams

When I close my eyes
My mind takes me to where you are
or finds a meeting point
a compromise
an in-between
between where i am
and where you are

To see you once again
and feel you close
t'is more than enough

Umbrella

The moon is up tonight.
Nice and bright and round.
The stars are out and about.
Little dots that stand out in the blackness.
I have been thinking of you lately
I miss you dearly.
Though separated by miles,
It's comforting to know that,
We are still under the same umbrella.
Yes that same umbrella
bridging the distance.

Hate

I hate the feeling of being all alone
I hate it.

I hate the feeling of being a burden
I hate it.

I hate the feeling of being plagued by depression
I hate it.

I hate it that there's no one on earth who cares enough to really listen
I hate it.

I hate it when I don't know how to help myself
I freaking hate it.

Hate is a strong emotion and I hate it.

The Weepies

Oh man i SO LOVE the Weepies. They rock my world. This is my favourite song.

"Not Your Year"

Scattered shadows on a wall, you watch the long light fall
Some impressions stay and some will fade
Tattered shoes outside your door, clothes all on the floor
Your life feels like the morning after all year long.

Every day it starts again
You cannot say if you're happy
You keep trying to be
Try harder, maybe this is not your year.

Movies, TV screens reflect just what you expected
There's a world of shiny people somewhere else
Out there following their bliss
living easy, getting kissed
while you wonder what else you're doing wrong

Breathe through it, write a list of desires
Make a toast, make a wish, slash some tires
Paint a heart repeating, beating "don't give up, don't give up, don't give up."